Goodbye Letter to My First Love

Loving you is most painful thing that I’ve ever experience; it makes me feel dead while I’m still living, it makes my heart ache so bad and I hate the fact that I have to repair it and find out that you’re the piece that I won’t be able to place in my heart again but I don’t regret everything about it because the memories we have erase every pain that I have in my heart, though it’s pitiful how our relationship turn out right now, I still don’t regret it; loving you, falling in-love with you, you even make me realize how crazy I can be just to see you once a week, how my love doesn’t even care the fact that you once cheated on me, that this love is willing to try everything for us to be okay because I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me.

It wasn’t a perfect love story; I’m not the perfect girlfriend at that time and maybe if we’re still together I still wouldn’t be perfect because I know how arrogant I can be, how I never want to lose in anything and how I can be so harsh at you, I’m sorry for being like that in the past. You’re also not a perfect boyfriend because you really know how to make me jealous, how you make me mad and fall in-love at the same time, everyone told me that the reason we always fight is because we didn’t let go of our ego, now I wonder why I didn’t, that I should have but there’s no use because we will still end up apart from each other because time is always our enemy.

Time has been my best friend and worse enemy at the same time; it gives me opportunity to see a bigger world than what I’ve ever imagine but at the same time it makes me choose between you and my dreams but I guess you already know what I choose right? You even think that leaving you doesn’t matter to me, it is as if you’re the only one being hurt every single time that I have to leave, you’re not! I’m also hurt but I have to make the right decision in my life even if that means that I have to put aside my love life because we’re still young we have to make the best of it; even if it means being apart from each other, even if it means that I wouldn’t be able to see you smile, your eyes and the way you are with me.

Thank you for being part of my life but after holding on for 5 years, I thinks it’s time to accept the fact that we are never getting back together. I have to forget you this time, everything about you and me. Thank you for making me realized that love is not a game, that’s its precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted, this past we have and this love we shared I will treasure it and learn from it, until I meet you again.

I won’t regret everything even my decision to forget you from now on.