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To My Introvert Friend, Thank YOU!

Extroverts! We’re Loud, we are bunch of craziness inside,we love social gatherings and we love to have a smile on our face every single time while Introverts? your really quite, you’re so shy, you often speak plus you have a very limited reaction to my jokes and mostly you love to be  alone which makes me want to disturb you and annoy you every time, I mean every single time! I always pull you out of your comfort zone, You met a lot of my friends which soon enough became your friend too.Though they always said that the only reason why you introvert have friends or social life is that because we found you.

Well the truth, I only find courage to continue my life because you keep me; I’m loud because I try so hard not to hear the voices in my mind, I have crazy ideas because mostly I want to be free from my life and I always have a smile in my face so that people will not notice how much I cried last night, but you…your my introvert friend who’s there to save me; how much you’re always there to listen when everybody in the party is going home, you stay with me until the time I’m tired of wearing my smile and uncover that I’m fragile inside or that I’m actually broken.

You were their when I thought everyone’s gone, your shoulder somehow is always ready for me to cry on, your ears are never tired of my complains and deep thoughts, you arms never miss to catch every time I fall or every time I fail, you were their supporting me, cheering me up and keeps on reminding me how much this life is worth it, so to my introvert friend thank you.

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To my parents, I think its time…

I’ve been leaning on you ever since I was born and even before I open my eyes. You were great in teaching me everything that I know today and thank you for bringing life to me but I think its time but before I get there….

Mama, you thought me almost everything I know about etiquette and good manners, how to get along with people and how I should respect everyone no matter if they’re older or younger than I am. You are the strongest person I know and I hope someday I will have the strength to face this life the way you do it but mama it’s time. Papa, you thought me how to love and how love is not perfect but we’ll always find ways to fix it and how to never give up. You make me laugh even at my saddest days, you know how to make my tears stop and how to make me smile. Thank you because you’re the only person who’s there to support whatever I want. Papa, now I think it’s time. To my parents, you will not like what I’m about to say because I know you love to take charge, you want to make sure that I will live well and you want to make sure that I’ll walk the path that you laid long time ago but I have to speak up now.

Mama and papa; do you remember that when I was a young I learn how to walk after so many tries and sometimes I even get hurt in the process, it’s the same way today in my life; you may not accept this but it’s time to let me make my decisions, you have to let me make mistakes and you have to accept that I’ll have to face my consequences. Yes, I will have problems and I will surely cry when that happens but you have to let me experience the pain in life because that’s the only way for me to learn how to stand up and as much as I want to respect you and follow what you want, I’m sorry because I want to take my steps in a different path.

I want to enjoy life and look back someday not regretting anything even the times that I got wounded, beaten and at times I want to give up. Mama and Papa don’t worry because I will still keep in touch and I will still consult you because I acknowledge that you are ahead of me and you will always know better than I do but please it’s time to believe in yourself that your baby that you used to teach and help is now an adult. You have to trust yourself that you did a good job in raising me.

Goodbye Letter to My First Love

Loving you is most painful thing that I’ve ever experience; it makes me feel dead while I’m still living, it makes my heart ache so bad and I hate the fact that I have to repair it and find out that you’re the piece that I won’t be able to place in my heart again but I don’t regret everything about it because the memories we have erase every pain that I have in my heart, though it’s pitiful how our relationship turn out right now, I still don’t regret it; loving you, falling in-love with you, you even make me realize how crazy I can be just to see you once a week, how my love doesn’t even care the fact that you once cheated on me, that this love is willing to try everything for us to be okay because I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me.

It wasn’t a perfect love story; I’m not the perfect girlfriend at that time and maybe if we’re still together I still wouldn’t be perfect because I know how arrogant I can be, how I never want to lose in anything and how I can be so harsh at you, I’m sorry for being like that in the past. You’re also not a perfect boyfriend because you really know how to make me jealous, how you make me mad and fall in-love at the same time, everyone told me that the reason we always fight is because we didn’t let go of our ego, now I wonder why I didn’t, that I should have but there’s no use because we will still end up apart from each other because time is always our enemy.

Time has been my best friend and worse enemy at the same time; it gives me opportunity to see a bigger world than what I’ve ever imagine but at the same time it makes me choose between you and my dreams but I guess you already know what I choose right? You even think that leaving you doesn’t matter to me, it is as if you’re the only one being hurt every single time that I have to leave, you’re not! I’m also hurt but I have to make the right decision in my life even if that means that I have to put aside my love life because we’re still young we have to make the best of it; even if it means being apart from each other, even if it means that I wouldn’t be able to see you smile, your eyes and the way you are with me.

Thank you for being part of my life but after holding on for 5 years, I thinks it’s time to accept the fact that we are never getting back together. I have to forget you this time, everything about you and me. Thank you for making me realized that love is not a game, that’s its precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted, this past we have and this love we shared I will treasure it and learn from it, until I meet you again.

I won’t regret everything even my decision to forget you from now on.

Let’s Not Hurry 

Let’s not hurry on finding love because I promise you that I will wait for you; You will see me in the right time but as of now let us focus on ourselves, so that when the day comes, that I have to submit to every decision that you will make, it won’t be hard for me because you have given God the time to confront me on how I should change my attitude and not be a brat on every situation, so when the time comes that I will have to serve you everyday of our lives, I won’t be getting tired because you have given me time to serve in the church and learn on how I should do everything with love and compassion, so that no matter how opposite we might be, I will not let go of you because you let me see how God has been holding me; Even at the times that I tried running away from Him, He never stopped pursuing me, telling me how faithful He is to me and how love should be unconditional.
You see, I will never be your typical “girlfriend material” because I am not fit to be one of them. I was born a princess, set apart from the rest of the world. I will not go outside and copy everything that’s on T.V or social media, I won’t even look on “what’s trending” , I don’t really care about all those because in the crowd of “many fishes, I will be a dolphin” ,

 

 

I will not be like them, I will be the woman whose fit to be with a king not to be with a soldier

 

I am destined to marry a leader whose heart is to serve people, I was born to be a support of my future husband not a boyfriend.
I will not play the game of “dating limbo”. No I will never just date you, because I will not enter a relationship just to fill in my cravings for affection or to receive your word of affirmation just to be secure; That I look pretty, that I am happy and that you complete the emptiness in me, because honestly you didn’t. I want you to see me as a whole person, the woman who can lend you a shoulder to lean on when you had a rough day at the office, or simply just be there for you when there are a lot of things that you just can’t figure out. I want you to be attracted to me because you saw the genuine joy I had, how you don’t have to fill in the pain that my past brought in my life, how you don’t have to work so hard and make a lot of effort just to make me smile, how you will thank God for the time that you allowed HIM to fix me. As He heals every pain in my heart and how he removes every fear that I have, so that, my love, when you see me, you will see how God worked and is working in and through me before I can be ready to face this life with you, so for the last time my love…..

Let’s not hurry on finding love. Let God put you and me together to be in-love.